Thursday, September 29, 2011
1. Processed meats such as bacon, bologna, and hot dogs
2. Whole milk
3. Cheeses over three grams of fat/ounce (Swiss, American, and cheddar are specifically listed, sigh...)
6. Egg noodles
7. Cream cheese
8. Doughnuts and pastries
10. Potato chips
11. Solid shortening/lard
12. Ice cream
While many of these aren't too much of a hardship, I'll have to get more specifics. After all, I have to find something convenient for workday mornings and don't want to end up on cholesterol medication if I can help it.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
1. Martha Reeves - "Dancing in the Street" from The Big Chill soundtrack
2. Nancy Sinatra - "These Boots Were Made for Walking" from the Full Metal Jacket soundtrack
3. Lady GaGa - in a duet with Marilyn Manson on "LoveGame"
4. Paramore - "Decode" from the Twilight soundtrack
5. Eurythmics - "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" off my eighties collection
6. Medicine - "Time Baby III" from The Crow soundtrack
7. Fiona Apple - "Sally's Song" from The Nightmare Before Christmas collection
8. Teena Marie - "Lead Me On" from the Top Gun soundtrack
9. LaVern Baker - "Soul On Fire" from the Angel Heart soundtrack
10. Nena - "99 Luftballons" from Sounds of the Eighties
11. Bananarama - "Cruel Summer" off Class Reunion '83
12. Aretha Franklin - "Think" from the Blues Brothers soundtrack
13. The Dixie Cups - "Chapel of Love" from the Full Metal Jacket soundtrack
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Fly From the Inside
Lost in the Crowd
No More Love
All I Ever Wanted
Thursday, August 18, 2011
1. A need of my never used passport
2. Wildlife viewing, perhaps interaction
3. A health club
4. Gambling, preferably a craps table for my partner
6. Ooh, and fishing
7. A private beach, perhaps
8. Isolation from street crime
9. Fine dining
10. An all-inclusive resort is starting to sound good
11. Adult beverages included
12. Plenty of quiet and relaxation
13. Adults only
I think a tropical resort might just be the way to go. What's your ideal vacation?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Out of all the flavors available in these incredible beans, I'm going to list thirteen favorites.
The final is my favorite. What might yours be? And can somebody tell me how they isolate these realistic flavors? I have a forty-nine flavor variety package at home and none of the tastes contaminate the others. That's almost as amazing as the realism!
How do they keep the flavors from mingling in the bag?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
A Centranthus perennial in my front cottage garden
Hellebores thrive in my shade garden
My "Crimson Queen" Japanese maple needed a trim by the time the lilac bloomed
My miniature backyard pagoda
"Hen-and-chicks" succulents thriving in a gap in my retaining wall
Another view of my Centranthus next to once-colored Columbine
Lilly-of-the-Valley is a persistent perennial around since before we moved in
A dandelion at the local park
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Jen Cambell Blogspot - Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops
Customer: Hi, I'd like to return this book, please.
Me: Do you have the receipt?
Me: Erm, you bought this book at Waterstone's.
Me:.... we're not Waterstone's.
Customer: But, you're a bookshop.
Me: Yes, but we're not Waterstone's.
Customer: You're all part of the same chain.
Me: No, sorry, we're an independent bookshop.
Me: Put it this way, you wouldn't buy clothes in H&M and take them back to Zara, would you?
Customer: Well, no, because they're different shops.
Customer:... I'd like to speak to your manager.
Person: Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Patrick.
Me: No one of that name works here, sorry.
Person: But does he live here?
Me:... no one lives here; we're a bookshop.
Person: Are you sure?
Customer: Hi, if I buy a book, read it, and bring it back, could I exchange it for another book?
Me: No... because then we wouldn't make any money.
Me: Ok, so with postage that brings your total to £13.05. One second and I'll get the card machine."
Customer: No. No, absolutely not. I demand that you charge me £12.99. I will not pay for anything that starts with thirteen. You're trying to give me bad luck. Now, change it or I will go to a bookshop who doesn't want me to fall down a hole and die. Ok?
Pizza Delivery Man [entering the shop with a large pile of pizzas and seeing me, the only person in the bookshop]: Hi, did you order fifteen pizzas?
Me: Hello, Ripping Yarns Bookshop
Man: Hello, is that Ripping Yarns?
Me: Yes, it is.
Man: Are you there?
Me: How do you mean?
Man: I mean, are you at the shop now?
Me: Erm... yes, you just rang the number for the bookshop and I answered.
Customer: Hello, I'd like a copy of 'The Water Babies,' with nice illustrations. But I don't want to pay a lot of money for it, so could you show me what editions you do have so I can look at them, and then I can go and find one online?
Customer: Do you sell ipod chargers?
Man: Hi, I've just self-published my art book. My friends tell me that I'm the new Van Gogh. How many copies of my book would you like to order?
Woman: Hi, my daughter is going to come by on her way home from school to buy a book. But she seems to buy books with sex in them and she's only twelve, so can I ask you to keep an eye out for her and make sure she doesn't buy anything inappropriate for her age? I can give you a list of authors she's allowed to buy.
Me: With all due respect, would it not be easier for you to come in with your daughter?
Woman: Certainly not. She's a grown girl, she can do it herself.
Customer: Do you have any books on the dark arts?
Customer: Do you have any idea where I could find some?
Me: Why don't you try Knockturn Alley?
Customer: Where's that?
Me: Oh, the centre of London.
Customer: Thanks, I'll keep my eyes peeled for it.
Customer: I'm just going to nip to Tesco to do the weekly shop. I'm just going to leave my sons here, is that ok? They're three and five. They're no bother.
Customer: I read a book in the eighties. I don't remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?
Thursday, June 23, 2011
1. Wake early without an alarm
Thursday, June 9, 2011
This bright harvest moon
keeps me walking all night long
around the little pond
But for a woodpecker
tapping at a post, no sound
at all in the house
A lovely spring night
suddenly vanished while we
viewed cherry blossoms
Singing, planting rice,
village songs more lovely
than famous city poems
Come out to view
the truth of flowers blooming
and the heart begins to dream
of four-tatami rooms
On Budha's birthday
a spotted fawn is born -
just like that
even the monkey searches
for a raincoat
The morning glories
bloom, securing the gate
in the old fence
That great blue oak
indifferent to all blossoms
appears more noble
With plum blossoms scent,
this sudden sun emerges
along a mountain trail
Clouds of cherry blossoms!
Is that temple bell in Ueno
a great soldier's empty helmet,
a cricket sings
Thursday, May 26, 2011
1. Beet - can't imagine this one
2. Wine - red or white?
3. Pumpkin - I just don't know about this one
4. Sour Orange - with chocolate this could be good
5. Ramune - a soda drink flavor
6. Sakura Macha - cherry blossom green tea
7. Pepper - I presume it's the spice, which just sounds disgusting
8. Miso - not surprising but it doesn't sound good to me
9. Aloe Vera - is this a candy or a skin treatment?
10. Daigakuimo - sweet potato; really?
11. Cucumber - now they're just trying for strange
12. European Cheese - as opposed to American processed slices, I presume, but nasty sounding either way
13. Creamy Apple - huh?
Thursday, April 28, 2011
1. Namazu-e – the ancient myth that giant catfish cause earthquakes; a lot of the art was politically charged regarding those that benefit from having to rebuild
2. Chickens Suit – the brainchild of an Australian brought to fruition in Japan. Note this stylish bird’s wearing an homage to Australia’s flag; there is a similar one in the style of Japan’s flag
3. Pluto-kun – a character designed to advocate the safety of plutonium in the early 1990’s for Japan's Power Reactor and Nuclear Fuel Development Corporation
4. Cute posters – not entirely a unique cultural element but I love this poster promoting power saving during this difficult time in the country
5. Hello Kitty – you can buy everything from toasters to vibrators with this Sanrio character (personally, I have a pen, some notebooks, a bat plush for Halloween, and a marshmallow lollipop – what can I say?)
6. Anime – has anyone not run into this? I’m neither a reader nor a watcher but I do love the artwork for “InuYasha, a Feudal Fairy Tale”. Gotta love a scruffy dog boy
7. Hentai – meaning “sexually perverted” in Japanese vernacular, the term covers a full range of fetishism in both real life and pornography; the program “Madventures” showed the host in a full body suit being ridden by a girl dressed in a manga costume
8. Language – with no spaces between words, the Japanese use five character sets and words borrowed from many other countries: hiragana (phonetic), katakana (phonetic for foreign words), kanji (Chinese characters), rōmaji (Roman letters), and Arabic numerals; here’s a random, mostly inclusive sample:
コンビニエンスストアの LAWSON 店舗にて、払い戻しをし
9. Samurai – the teachings and discipline still have resonance today
10. Visual Kei – a sub genre of J-rock that is stunning to both eyes and ears; here’s an image of X Japan from the eighties
11. Mascots – the Japanese use them for everything; this odd one was created back in 2008 for the 1,300th Anniversary of the Nara Prefecture capital
12. Kimono – still in use today for mostly formal occasions (I want the one pictured)
13. Hanami – this traditional custom of flower appreciation takes on a whole new meaning when the cherry trees are in blossom
Thursday, April 14, 2011
2. It is a tiny creeper which grows to only 1-6 centimeters in height.
3. Technically, it is merely one of the smallest woody plants on Earth!
4. The roughly circular leaves are 1-2 centimeters long and wide and appear shiny green.
5. The scientific family of the plant is called Salicaceae, which covers a broad group of flowering plants.
6. As the family grouping suggests, the Dwarf Willow does flower.
7. These flowers are called catkins, which do not have petals.
8. Like all willows, the plants are considered either female or male.
9. Catkins on the male plant appear yellow while they are red on the female version.
10. They live at over 1,500 meters in the southern range of their sub-Arctic habitat.
11. The tiny fellows can also be found at sea level in the Arctic.
12. Widely distributed on both sides of the North Atlantic, the miniscule plants thrive in tundra and rocky moorland.
13. This tree would make an instant and easy Bonsai!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
1. Kai Sushi Café – fresh and varied menu; wonderful staff
2. Cazadores – good fish tacos
3. Applebee’s – I like their weight conscious menu
4. Red Lobster – yummy trout
5. Max and Erma’s – tasty burgers
6. BW3 – they employ my favorite bartender
7. Buffalo Jack’s – elk steaks
8. Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen – huge, juicy raw oysters
9. Olive Garden – I crave their seafood brodetto
10. Bravo! – more tasty seafood
11. Rooster’s – Buffalo chicken pizza
12. Thai 9 – awesome curry
13. Jay’s Seafood – quality cuisine in a neat historical building
Thursday, March 17, 2011
1. The First Born Son - The First Born Son is the ghost of Billy Michaels, a boy who loved Cowboy films. One day a neighbor found a real steel arrow in his parents' closet. He challenged Billy to a duel, with Billy using a toy gun. However, his plaything was no match for the arrow, and he died when the neighbor shot it through the back of his head. In death, Billy is in his cowboy suit and holding a tomahawk, with the arrow still protruding from his head. His ghost whispers "I want to play" or "play with me."
2. The Torso - The Torso is the ghost of a gambler called Jimmy "The Gambler" Gambino. One day he made a deal with a rich business man, and when he bet heavily on a boxing match and lost, he tried to renege his bet and slip out of town, and so sealed his fate. The mob and the winning boxer, to whom he owed money, caught up with Gambino and cut him into several pieces, wrapping them in cellophane and dumping the corpse into the ocean. His ghost is just his torso, trying to walk around on its hands, while his head lies nearby screaming within the cellophane.
3. The Bound Woman - The Bound Woman was a cheerleader named Susan LeGrow, who was born privileged and had a penchant for seducing men and tossing them away. When her boyfriend found her cheating, he strangled her and killed the other boy. He buried her body at the 50-yard line of the local football field. Her ghost is in her prom dress, hanging suspended by the belt used to strangle her, and her arms tied behind her back. Before he was hanged, her boyfriend was quoted as saying "The bitch broke my heart, so I broke her neck".
4. The Withered Lover - The Withered Lover is Jean Kriticos, Arthur's wife. She was burned severely saving her family from a devastating house fire, and died of her wounds in the hospital. Her ghost initially appears in a hospital gown, hooked up to an IV pole and showing severe burns on her face. Unlike the other ghosts, she is not a vengeful spirit, electing to help her family rather than show malevolence.
5. The Torn Prince - The Torn Prince is the ghost of Royce Clayton, a gifted baseball star in high school, albeit with attitude issues and a superiority complex. In 1957 he was challenged by a greaser named Johnny to a drag race, but was killed as his car spun out of control and flipped over; the cause of the accident, a cut brake line. He was buried in a plot of earth that overlooked the baseball diamond. His ghost carries a baseball bat, and parts of his body are torn to shreds from when he was dragged under the car.
6. The Angry Princess - The Angry Princess is Dana Newman, who did not believe in her own natural beauty. Abusive boyfriends fueled her low self-esteem, which led to much unneeded plastic surgery for imagined defects. She got a job working as a plastic surgeon's assistant, getting paid in treatments instead of cash. When she tried to perform surgery on herself while she was alone in the hospital one night, she blinded herself in one eye and mutilated herself beyond any saving. She committed suicide in the bathtub by slashing her body repeatedly with a butcher knife. Her ghost is naked, still carrying the knife she killed herself with, and the inside walls of her cube are splattered with her blood.
7. The Pilgrimess - The Pilgrimess is the ghost of Isabella Smith, an Englishwoman who traveled across the Atlantic and settled in New England during colonial times. She was an outsider to the town she moved into, and this isolated her from the other townsfolk. She was the poor scapegoat of the townsfolk when livestock began to die mysteriously. To try to get rid of her, the townsfolk locked her in a barn and set it on fire with her inside. To all of the town's surprise, she emerged from the wreckage without a single burn on her body or clothes. When this happened she was sentenced to the stocks with no food or water until she died of dehydration and malnutrition. As a ghost, she is still locked into her stocks.
8. and 9. The Great Child and The Dire Mother - The Dire Mother is the ghost of Margaret Shelburne, who was an attraction in a carnival due to her being only three feet tall. She was raped by the "Tall Man," another carnival freak. Her son, Harold (the Great Child), was born as a result of that rape; he eventually weighed over 300 pounds (136 kg). Harold, spoiled, was raised as his mother's protector and kept a child-like mindset, to the point that he wore diapers his entire life. One day some of the carnival employees decided to play a little practical joke on Harold, and kidnapped his mother. In a psychopathic rampage, he set out to look for her, destroying all in his path, but when he caught up with the culprits, he found that his mother had accidentally suffocated to death in the bag that she was kept in. Harold killed the kidnappers with an axe, keeping their remains and displaying them for paying customers. When the owner of the carnival found out what Harold had done, he ordered a mob of people to tear Harold apart. Their ghosts are always together, and Harold still wields the ax and wears a bib stained with food that his mother has spoon-fed to him. An alternate version of the story is told in the DVD commentary: It was said that their deaths were caused by the Great Child rolling over on the Dire Mother while asleep, thus suffocating her, then as a result him starving to death after suffering from depression and guilt, plus the fact that he had no one to feed him.
10. The Hammer - The Hammer is the ghost of a blacksmith, George Markley, who lived in a small town in the 1890s. He was wrongfully accused of stealing, and when threatened with exile, refused to leave town. A gang led by his accuser hanged his wife and children and burned their bodies; in revenge, George used his sledgehammer to beat the culprits to death. He was then subjected to a cruel form of frontier justice by the townsfolk, being chained to a tree and executed by having railroad spikes driven into his body with his own sledgehammer. As a final touch, they cut off his hand and attached the sledgehammer - handle and all - to the hand that was cut off. His ghost is seen with the railroad spikes protruding from his body and a sledgehammer for a left hand.
11. The Jackal - The Jackal is the ghost of Ryan Kuhn, who was born in 1887 to a prostitute. Ryan had an insatiable lust for women, rape, and murdering prostitutes. Wanting to be cured, he committed himself to Borehamwood Asylum, but after attacking a nurse, he was put in a straitjacket and thrown in a padded room. After years of this imprisonment, he went completely insane, scratching at the walls so violently that his fingernails were torn completely off. The doctors kept him permanently bound in his straitjacket, tying it tighter when he acted out, causing his limbs to contort horribly. Still fighting to free himself, Ryan gnawed through the jacket until the doctors finally locked his head in a metal cage and sealed him away in the dark basement cell. There, he grew to hate any kind of human contact, screaming madly and cowering whenever approached by a human being. When a fire broke out in the asylum, everyone but Ryan escaped. He chose to stay behind and face the fire. As a ghost, his arms are free from his jacket, and the bars of his cage are ripped outwards.
12. The Juggernaut - The Juggernaut is the ghost of a serial killer named Horace "Breaker" Mahoney. Standing seven feet tall, he was of such grotesque height and appearance that everyone ostracized him as a child. His mother abandoned him at birth, so his father raised him, putting him to work in the junkyard crushing old cars. After his father died, Horace was left on his own, and soon went mad. He would pick up female hitchhikers on the road and drive them back to his junkyard, then tear them apart with his bare hands and feed them to his dogs. One day he picked up an undercover female police officer, who called for backup, bringing a SWAT team to surround the junkyard. Since close combat was impossible, the police instead struck the yard, and arrested the giant. However, Horace broke free from the cuffs, and three officers lost their lives. Quickly, five SWAT officers took out their guns and brought Horace down in a hail of bullets. When he finally went down, they shot an extra round of ammunition into him, "just to be safe." His ghost still shows bullet holes all over his clothing, and the round that finished him, in the center of his forehead.
13. The Broken Heart - The thirteenth ghost lost a great love, but I don't want to tell you more in case you haven't seem the movie.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
1. Miniature Schnauzer – my parents have had two great ones
2. Rough Collie – who doesn’t like Lassie?
3. Doberman Pincher – my grandparents had a wonderful one named Pierre
4. Dalmation – though hyperactive from what I’ve heard, I will always think of the Disney movie in connection with this breed
5. Afghan Hound – these elegant creatures always remind me of a friend; that family’s beautiful female was a goof at heart
6. Border Collie – the multicolored eyes and merle (speckled) coats are gorgeous
7. Akita Inu – this Japanese dog is one of the oldest dog breeds in the world; it was actually used to hunt large game in previous generations
8. Borzoi – the Russian wolfhound has amazing speed and lean good looks
9. Puli – my partner tells fondly of a neighbor’s dreadlocked specimen
10. Shi Tzu – the hilarious mockumentary “Best in Show” cemented this breed in my mind as a real darling
11. Chow Chow – while I know of an abused specimen that never did like children, I think they are great
12. Rottweiler – I’ve wanted one of these gentle beasts since first seeing them in a horror movie; a friend breeds some real sweeties
13. Mutt – while not a breed but a mix, like my mixed breed cats (moggies), they are the hardiest of the lot and I grew up with two wonderful female mutts
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
My Boyfriend's Back
A Short, Sweet Romance
by Chrissy Olinger
Paranormal/Fantasy Romance only .99
Available on Kindle
from Amazon.com -- BUY IT NOW
"Fear not! I bring you tidings of... DAMMIT!"
With those few words, Jack Lynch's world was turned upside-down. Once the nerd everyone loved
to torment, he has returned to his home town for his twentieth reunion. Now a multimillionaire, Jack has everything but the one thing that matters: his
true love. Twenty years ago he let her slip away. Now he's back, and determined to win her heart.
But screeching tires on an icy road change everything. If being temporarily dead weren't bad
enough, Norman— an angel in training— returns Jack's spirit to the wrong body— the class bully, John Lydon.
With the rockin' hot bod of his former nemesis, the help of a nerdy angel, and his own wits,
Jack has to get Rori to see him, love him, and bring about a miracle... without revealing this true identity. The clock is ticking, and he only has three days.
Jack's got the brains; his new body has the brawn; and Norman's got his back. What could possibly
*This book contains some mild language, no strong sexual content, and an excessive amount of silliness.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
1. Astro Pop
1/4 oz. Blue Curacao
1/4 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
1/4 oz. Goldschlager
1/4 oz. Jagermeister
1/4 oz. Midori
1/4 oz. Rumple Minze
Layer in the order given and it should look like an Astro Pop popsicle.
2. Dragon Piss
4 oz. Mountain Dew
1 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
3/4 oz. Butterscotch Schnapps
Mix and give to the loser at cards.
3. Jack Ass
1 1/2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
1/2 oz. Yukon Jack
Pour into a shot glass and slam it back.
4. Atomic Fireball
1/2 oz. Bacardi 151 Proof Rum
1/2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
dash(es) Tabasco Sauce
Pour and enjoy!
1/2 oz. Absinthe
1/2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps (Preferably Golden Stryke)
Mix the two spirits in a shot glass, drink one quarter of the beer, then drop the full shot glass in the beer glass and shot it all! Remember Sepultura means Grave in Portuguese!
6. Original Sin
12 oz. DNA Alcoholic Spring Water
1/2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
Pour DNA and Cinnamon Schnapps over ice in a cocktail glass. Stir and serve.
7. Red Panties
1/2 oz. Cherry Pucker
1/2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
Layer in a shot glass and shoot
8. Carrot Cake
1 oz. Butterscotch Schnapps
1 splash(es) Cinnamon Schnapps
1/2 oz. Irish Cream
Pour the butterscotch into a glass, then mix in Irish Cream. Dribble a splash of cinnamon schnapps on top and serve! Delicious with or without ice.
9. Candy Cane
4 oz. 7-Up (Or Sprite)
2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
1 oz. Cherry Juice (See instructions)
Mix with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a cherry. Note from the person who submitted the recipe: By cherry juice, we mean the cherry flavoured water mixture from those little bottles of cherries that the grocery stores sell.
10. Did You Get the Number of That Truck (punch)
8 cups Squirt
4 cups Apple Schnapps
4 cups Whiskey
2 cups Cinnamon Schnapps
Mix in a punch bowl and serve in a highball glass.
11. Green Machine
1/4 oz. Absinthe
1/4 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps (Preferably Golden Stryke)
1/4 oz. Pisang Ambon
1/4 oz. Vodka
Mix and shoot.
12. Blow Job
1/2 oz. Cherry Liqueur
1/2 oz. Jameson Irish Whiskey
1/4 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
1/4 oz. Irish Cream
Mix ingredients and pour into a shot glass. Top with whipped cream.
13. Hot Pussy
2 drop(s) Tabasco Sauce
1 oz. La Grande Passion Liqueur
1/2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
Shake with ice and strain into a highball glass.